Humor

14 Shakespearian Insults We Should All Start Using

By: Saisha Dixit  | | 5 mins Jun 7, 2021

Shakespeare is a name everyone has heard of; a famous playwright of the 16th century whose works are still studied extensively to this day. People who have never read any of his works must think he’s quite the serious fellow who writes super serious stuff. Well, that’s not entirely true you see. Shakespeare wrote his plays to amuse the king, so his works are always entertaining, no matter what genre it is. And while his tragedies are more well-known than his comedies, even they have some lines that are hilarious.

 

His insults and sarcastic quips especially, have aged like fine wine. So today we’ll be taking a look at 14 Shakespearian insults we should all be using.

 

A self-explanatory classic. What makes this even funnier is that it’s followed by a bracketed action that states that the speaker immediately stabs the person he’s saying this to. This was also a popular meme for a few years on Tumblr.

 

 

Here’s a verbose one you can use when you really want to lay it in the other person. And you can call them a liar, a coward, a promise-breaker and basically useless, all at once!

 

 

This one is trying to say that the other person is so ‘thick’ that nothing passes through their brain. Don’t we all have someone we’re dying to say this to?

 

 

Here’s one we’ve all been using since elementary school but in old English: I’d love you slap the lights out of you, but I don’t want to dirty my hands.

 

 

Another one we’ve been using since childhood: ‘tesko mukh dekhera ta din nai bigryo

 

 

Here’s another one that insults someone’s face. Shakespeare really hated ugly people huh? I mean how ugly does one have to be to possess a face that’s not even worth getting sunburnt?

 

 

Nothing to explain here, Shakespeare really just calls this poor fellow a boil and a sore. That has to hurt.

 

 

Here’s how you can politely tell someone to go to hell.

 

 

No thoughts. Head empty.

 

 

Here’s how you can politely tell someone their face is depressing you.

 

 

Here’s how you can break up with someone Shakespearian style.

 

 

Here’s he’s saying that the person in question is so fat that her height and width are the same size. Oh and that she’s so spherical, she resembles a globe.

Damn.

 

 

This one is hilarious so here’s the translation:

Romeo: I had a dream last night

Mercutio: cool so did i

Romeo: what did you dream about

Mercutio: that you’re a liar

Romeo: well yeah I LIE in bed and DREAM

 

 

Well, this one is pretty self explanatory.

 

 

Well, there you have it. Which of these insults are you going to start using from now? Tell us in the comments. Make sure to follow us at Yeti Yap if you enjoyed this list.

 

Also read: Only A True Rap God Can Fluently Recite These 10 Nepali Tongue Twisters

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